Codependence Self-Test

Indicate your response to the following statements:

1. Yes No I am in a significant relationship with someone who is addicted to a
substance or a behavior, or someone who is depressed.

2. Yes No I feel responsible for almost everybody and everything, but I feel guilty
much of the time.

3. Yes No I can’t say “no” without feeling guilty.

4. Yes No I can accurately “read” other people by analyzing their facial expressions
and tone of voice.

5. Yes No I try very hard to please people, but I seldom feel that I measure up.

6. Yes No I feel that I have to protect people, especially the addicted or depressed
person in my life.

7. Yes No I live in such a way that no one can ever say I’m selfish.

8. Yes No I vacillate between defending the irresponsible person and blowing up in
anger at him or her.

9. Yes No I often relive situations and conversations to see if I can think of some way
I could have done or spoken better.

10. Yes No I feel overly frightened of angry people.

11. Yes No I am terribly offended by personal criticism.

12. Yes No To avoid feeling guilt and shame, I seldom stand up to people who
disagree with me.

13. Yes No I tend to see people and situations as “all good” or “all bad.”

14. Yes No Though I try to please people, I often feel isolated and alone.

15. Yes No I trust people too much or not at all.

16. Yes No I often try to get people I love to change their attitudes and behavior.

17. Yes No I tend to believe the addicted or depressed person’s promises, even if he
or she has broken countless promises before.

18. Yes No Sometimes I have a lot of energy to help people, but sometimes I feel
drained, depressed and ambivalent.

19. Yes No I often give advice, even when it isn’t requested.

20. Yes No I tend to confuse love with pity, and I tend to love those who need me to
rescue them from their problems.

21. Yes No I believe I can’t be happy unless others, especially the needy people in
my life, are happy.

22. Yes No I am often a victim in strained and broken relationships.

23. Yes No I am defensive when someone points out my faults.

24. YesNo My thoughts are often consumed with the troubles and needs of the
addicted or depressed person in my life.

25. Yes No I feel wonderful when I can fix others’ problems, but I feel terrible when
I can’t.

Add up your totals and type them into the "Yes" and "No" boxes. (Your responses will NOT be sent anywhere, this is for your information only.)

Totals: Yes No    

• If you answered “yes” to 5 or fewer statements, you have relatively healthy boundaries, confidence and wisdom in relationships. You can care about people without feeling responsible for their choices.



• If you answered “yes” to 6–12 statements, your life is shaped to a significant degree by the demands of needy people in your life. You often feel responsible for the choices others make, and you try too hard to help them make the right ones. You would benefit from the input of a competent counselor or support group.



• If you answered “yes” to 13 or more statements, you have lost your sense of identity, and you are consumed by the problems of addicted or depressed people in your life. You can’t be happy unless you are rescuing irresponsible people from their destructive decisions. In reality, however, your hope for sanity and emotional health is not in that person getting well. You have to take steps to get well whether that person does or not. Find a counselor or support group to help you gain wisdom and strength.

Resources
For immediate help . . .

• Find a counselor: The Christian Care Network is a national referral network of state licensed and/or certified professional counselors. To find a counselor in your area, go to www.aacc.net and click on “Find a counselor.”



• Intervention: When you’ve tried everything, but your loved one who needs help won’t accept it, consider calling someone trained to do an intervention. For more information about this service, call Jeff VanVonderen at 888-JEFF- 911 or go online to www.jeffvanvonderen.com.



• If someone in your family is violent, threatening to become violent, suicidal, missing or acting in ways that are out-of-control, call 911 to reach your local police or emergency medical services. For chronic problems, contact your doctor or social services in your community.

Organizations . . .

Celebrate Recovery: www.celebraterecovery.com 949-581-0548

Overcomers Outreach: www.overcomersoutreach.org 800-310-3001

Codependents Anonymous: www.codependents.org 602-277-7991


Treatment centers . . .

Most treatment centers that treat addictions include a “family week” in which family members can begin to process their own pain, shame and sense of betrayal.

Sierra Tucson: www.sierratucson.com 800-624-5858

National Association of Addiction Treatment Providers: www.naatp.org, click on “Enter NAATP.org,” then click on Members. 717-392-8480

Many codependents become deeply, even clinically depressed. Contact your family physician or counselor for help.



Books to give you more insight . . .
(Click on our amazon.com estore link below to access all recommended books.)